He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
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