I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I can't put those talents on a resume
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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