did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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