So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I need to align my fucking chakras
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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