what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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