I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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