There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
