where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
