my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
