I hate all girls vehemently.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
