omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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