just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
