brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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