Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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