He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
