The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
