Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
