I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
