I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
