Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
