I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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