Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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