i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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