Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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