i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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