I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
