I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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