So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
