is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
