her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
