I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
