Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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