Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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