He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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