i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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