So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
