hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
