New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
