My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
