i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
