I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
