Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
