Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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