At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
