Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
