just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
