Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
