Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
what day is it and did you see me today?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
