Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
