I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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