I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I want a musical about memes.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
