Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
