So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
