That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I have aggressive nipples.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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