I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
